Money, toys or your time: which gift actually helps a child with cancer most

Money goes furthest, but not alone

Money is usually the most flexible gift for a childhood cancer charity, because it can become whatever a family needs this month: a travel grant, a hotel near the hospital, a delivery to a child having a hard week. Items help most when they match a specific, current need the charity has asked for. Volunteer time is the gift that multiplies the other two, because it turns donated money and goods into packages, events and personal contact that families feel.

The honest answer, then, is that the best gift is the one you can give well and keep giving. I help connect donors, businesses, teachers and students with Leia's Kids, a national 501(c)(3) that supports children and families facing childhood cancer. I see all three kinds of gifts every year, and each has a place. What follows is how to choose.

What a cash gift does

Cash lets an organization respond to what families actually report, not what donors guess. At Leia's Kids, financial grants help families with costs such as travel for treatment, food insecurity and child care, according to the foundation's grant application page. Those needs change month by month. A family that needs gas money in March may need child care in May, and only cash covers both.

Cash also funds the parts of a program nobody photographs: the postage on a Royal Delivery, the printing of a Hope Library journal, the lodging and meals at an all-inclusive retreat for young patients ages 17 to 24. A gift of any size helps, and a small monthly gift is especially useful, because it lets the charity plan instead of hoping the next fundraiser goes well. Leia's Kids accepts donations online through its giving page.

If you give online, go to the charity's own website and use its donation link rather than one forwarded to you, and keep the receipt. If your employer matches gifts, ask about it before you give; a matching program can double a modest donation without costing you anything more.

• Flexible: covers whatever families need right now
• Funds shipping, printing and program costs that items cannot
• Monthly gifts let the charity plan ahead
• No storage, sorting or delivery needed

When items are the better gift

Items are the right gift when they are exactly what the organization is asking for. That is why many charities keep a wish list. Leia's Kids has an Amazon wishlist and an in-kind donation form, which asks for the business or donor name, the items, the quantity and the total price. That last part matters: it tells the foundation the value of what arrived and helps it plan around it.

Items work especially well for businesses that make or sell something useful: printing for event materials, decor or catering for an event, gift cards for gas or groceries, or products that fit a Royal Delivery. A business that donates its own product or service often gives more value than it could in cash, and its team gets to see the gift in use.

Where items go wrong is the unrequested pile. A carload of toys that do not fit any program has to be stored, sorted and moved by volunteers whose time would be better spent elsewhere. Hospitals also tend to have their own rules about what they can accept and how, so a drop-off at a hospital without asking first can end with your gift turned away. Before buying, ask what is needed this season.

What about toys for kids in the hospital?

This is the question I am asked most around the holidays. The instinct is right: a child in treatment deserves to feel celebrated. But a child on a long hospital stay is often too tired, too nauseous or too restricted to use a big toy, and the family may have nowhere to keep it. A thoughtful, well-timed gift chosen with the child in mind does more than a mountain of plastic.

That is the idea behind Royal Deliveries, packages sent from Princess Marygold's Castle to children facing cancer. The point is not quantity. It is the moment of being known and celebrated in a season that is mostly needles and waiting rooms. Families apply for a Royal Delivery on the foundation's website, and donors and sponsors fund them. If you want to give a child that kind of moment, funding a delivery or giving from the wishlist gets it there.

And remember the siblings. Brothers and sisters notice every gift that goes to the hospital and not to them. The Hope Library includes a four-week grief journal for a child who has lost a sibling, and a small, thoughtful gift for a brother or sister at home can matter as much as anything sent to the ward.

Want help choosing?

If you are not sure whether your gift should be money, items or time, reach out and tell me what you have to offer. A business with a product, a school with a group of eager students and a family with a little extra each month all have a place, and I can tell you what is most needed right now. I would rather steer your generosity to the right spot than have it end up in a storage closet.

Volunteer time: the gift that multiplies

Volunteers are how donated money and items reach families. They pack deliveries, run events, help at the gala and give a small organization the hands it cannot afford to hire. Leia's Kids has a volunteer and business partnership interest form on its website, and it runs a Junior Board for high school and college students who want to become compassionate leaders, plus a student internship.

Time is also the gift that changes the giver. A team that spends an afternoon packing Royal Deliveries goes back to work talking about it. A student who serves on a junior board learns what it means to show up for people in a hard season. If you lead a company or a classroom, volunteering together is often the most memorable thing you can offer your people.

To make a volunteer day work, plan it with the charity rather than around your own calendar. Ask what tasks are coming up, how many people are useful, and what your group should bring. A smaller group that arrives prepared does more than a large one with nothing to do, and the charity's staff will be glad to have you back.

• Packing and preparing Royal Deliveries
• Helping at the annual gala and other events
• Serving on the Junior Board as a high school or college student
• Student internships
• Team volunteer days for businesses

How the tax rules treat each kind of gift

The rules differ, and it helps to know them before you give. IRS Publication 526 says you cannot deduct the value of your time or services as a volunteer. It does allow certain unreimbursed out-of-pocket expenses directly related to volunteer work, such as gas and oil when you use your car, and it gives a standard mileage rate of 14 cents a mile for charitable driving. Cash gifts to a qualified charity can be deductible if you meet the IRS rules, and gifts given directly to an individual or family generally are not.

For items, keep a record of what you gave and its value, which is one reason an in-kind form asks for quantity and total price. This is general information, not tax advice; a CPA can tell you how it applies to your return. If you are deciding between helping a family directly and giving through a charity, I compare the two in crowdfunding for a family versus giving to a charity.

Mistakes that turn generosity into extra work

Buying first and asking second. Dropping items at a hospital without checking its rules. Organizing a toy drive with no plan for where the toys go. Signing up a whole team to volunteer on a date the charity has no event. Giving once in December and never again. None of these come from bad intentions, and all of them are easy to avoid with one phone call. The fix is the same in every case: ask what is needed, when, and how it should arrive, then give exactly that.

The other mistake is assuming your gift is too small to matter. A family's grant is usually built from many ordinary gifts, and a small organization notices every one. For people who want to help a family they know personally, I also wrote about what to say and do for a family whose child has cancer, because words and practical help are gifts too.

Choosing your gift and getting started

If you can give money, give it, ideally on a schedule. If your business makes something a charity needs, offer it. If you have time, give it, and bring others with you. The strongest supporters I know do a little of each through the year, and I describe how that looks for a company in supporting kids with cancer all year, not just at the gala.

If you live or work in Dallas–Fort Worth, you also have the chance to see the work up close at local events and the annual Hope in the Kingdom gala in Frisco. Reach out and tell me what you would like to give. I will match it to what children and families need right now, and make sure you hear what it made possible.

Questions people ask me